


Ignorance is Bliss

by CourtesyTrefflin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Family, Gen, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:06:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28534134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtesyTrefflin/pseuds/CourtesyTrefflin
Summary: On the way to Alderaan, Obi-Wan Kenobi reflects on what he told Luke Skywalker about his father, and his reasoning for doing so.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 7
Kudos: 9





	Ignorance is Bliss

**Author's Note:**

> For a long time, I wondered what Obi-Wan was thinking when he told Luke that Vader killed Anakin. I think I've finally found the answer. I hope you enjoy! :)

He's not really meditating, but it's a good imitation. At least he has enough time to sort through his conflicting emotions. Obi-Wan exhales slowly, eyes closed, feeling the ship humming all around him. Anakin's son is in the main hold, still practicing with the lightsaber, but Obi-Wan had excused himself, wanting a few minutes of quiet.

It wasn't easy, looking into those familiar blue eyes, telling the young, curious boy that his father – _my brother_ – is dead, but he had to do it for the sake of the galaxy. Luke is so pure, so light. It hurts sometimes feeling that brightness in the Force and knowing how different things could have been. He's so similar, yet so different from – from _him_. His uncle and aunt may have been killed, but that has hardly lessened his innocence.

Anakin's son knows little of the extent of evil. He hasn't been exposed to it; he hasn't faced it head on. He's still barely more than a child. Even from here, Obi-Wan can feel his determination to prove himself as a Jedi, to be like his father. His emotions are so strong, but Obi-Wan has hope he can learn to control them. He must if the galaxy has any hope of a savior. Like it or not, it is his destiny to confront Vader. Vader. A part of Obi-Wan mourns at the mention of the name, crying for the loss of the little boy he once knew.

_Ten-year-old Anakin climbs onto the couch, squirming close to Obi-Wan as they watch a holofilm together. It's been several months since Anakin became his Padawan, but Obi-Wan is still uncertain how to deal with him. He's always so emotional, something he can't even begin to approach. He grew up knowing how to control his emotions, and he doesn't know how to teach that to his new Padawan._

_Anakin has absolutely no qualms in scooting over and leaning against him, head resting on Obi-Wan's shoulder. After a moment's hesitation, Obi-Wan puts an arm around him and feels his Padawan relax against him. Anakin's hand clutches Obi-Wan's tunic, a feeling of contentment humming through their bond. "I love you, Master," mumbles Anakin so quietly Obi-Wan barely hears him._

_Obi-Wan nearly chokes. No. No, that's not – What's he supposed to do now? "Jedi – Jedi aren't supposed to say things like that," he tries carefully, hoping he doesn't hurt Anakin's feelings. He hates when he's upset; he has no idea how to treat him then._

_"But it's true," insists Anakin, looking up at him with bright blue eyes. He hesitates imperceptibly, "Don't you care about me?"_

_"Of course, I do," he replies instantly._

_"Then why don't you ever say so?" the boy wonders._

_"It's not the Jedi way," Obi-Wan explains patiently._

_"I don't like it," Anakin grumbles, "This is better." He shifts, wrapping his arms around Obi-Wan and hugging him tightly._

Obi-Wan slams the memory away almost as soon as it surfaces. He cannot afford to remember things like that, to indulge in the past when none of it matters anymore. He won't cry over it again; he finds that he doesn't have tears to cry anymore over the constant ache he's carried around deep inside his heart for nearly two decades. It's pointless anyways. It won't change what's done. It won't bring Anakin back either.

He reaches out, silently checking on Anakin's son through the Force. His enthusiasm is radiating so strongly, and Obi-Wan finds himself wishing that he could help him. But no, it's not possible. Even if he were there, he doesn't think he could bring himself to train this pure child. He already knows where his destiny lies. He has to save the princess, Anakin's daughter, for he has no doubt that she was captured. When he finds her, he'll have to face Vader again.

It's too soon. He's not ready, but then again, he probably never will be. No matter how it goes, it will _hurt_ so very badly. It will end the same. He'll be dead at Vader's hand. In another situation, the thought would have been laughable. He joked about it so many times. _Joked_ , not predicted. The Force didn't care. It never cared and – he shouldn't be thinking like this. Those are very un-Jedi thoughts, but he's already decided he's not really a Jedi anymore. He wasn't a good Jedi, and he was an even worse master.

This is the only way to make even partial amends for his mistakes. He has to face Vader, has to die at his hands. That's the only good which will come from it. His impending death, it doesn't scare him. He's been dying slowly each day since – since the dreadful moment he had to take up his lightsaber against his brother. Some things can't be fixed.

When he dies, he has to ensure that Anakin's son knows what happened, that he knows _who_ was the one to strike his not-master down. It's the only way that he'll be able to understand the depths of the evil of which Vader is capable. Luke is too innocent. He's too _caring._ He has his father's heart, and doesn't it kill Obi-Wan to know that he's the one who hurt his brother? He realized, a fraction of a second too late, that perhaps he had misjudged. Perhaps Anakin had still been there – but there is no use wondering.

It pains him to have lied to Anakin's son, but it was the truth he'd repeated over and over for nineteen years, forcing himself to believe it, and eventually, realizing that he'd somehow accepted that his precious apprentice had done this to the galaxy. He knows Luke, even if he's hardly spoken to him. Looking into his eyes, he can see the same selflessness and heroism which drove his father to become a hero during the Clone Wars. He can see the caring of his heart, unfiltered by the Jedi Code, and he _knew_ what would happen if the child knew Vader was his father.

He had thought about it often, turning it over and over in his mind, dwelling on it until the suns rose in the morning. And he knew. He knew that Luke, caring soul that he is, would immediately love his father, evil and all, without even understanding the man. He wouldn't understand that Vader is almost a living embodiment of evil, uncaring as to the lifeforms around him. Perhaps it would be a gamble worth taking, but Obi-Wan is by no means willing to risk such a pure soul, for if he's wrong, he would never be able to live with the guilt.

If Anakin's son were to Fall into the darkness, the galaxy would be doomed for eternity. He didn't want to do it, didn't want to look at those eyes – _Anakin's eyes_ – and tell him that his father was dead, killed by Darth Vader. It was the truth from a certain point of view, but it's not one Obi-Wan believed any longer. No. It was Anakin who did these things, horrible atrocities, and yet, he realized that he's willing to forgive him. Force, he shouldn't love him so much, but he _does_ , and that's nothing which time has changed.

But now, with Luke seeing Vader as a monster who killed his father, he will be more open to seeing the evil the man can do. He will finally know, finally understand the meaning of evil, and Obi-Wan mourns the day that will come, for it will be the day that the child loses his innocence forever. _It's necessary_ , he reminds himself, _it's necessary if Anakin is to have any hope._ Perhaps Anakin can be pulled back from the darkness by his son's light. Obi-Wan doesn't know, but he hopes, how he _hopes_ that it will happen.

Eventually, Anakin's son will find out that Obi-Wan was not entirely truthful, and he will certainly be upset. Maybe he will understand and maybe not, but what matters most is that he sees his father for the evil man is he and chooses to love him despite it all. Obi-Wan has faith it will happen, but he doesn't know if Anakin will be too far gone for the love of his son to reach him. Everything Obi-Wan has ever done has led him to this point, whether for better or worse.

When he dies, it will be with the knowledge that he is – hopefully – paving the path for Anakin's redemption. He shouldn't harbor hope like this; doing so is risky, but he can't help it. For the first time in years, he sees a light. He sees hope. Luke. It's ironic that he'd always assumed Anakin would be there when he died, and he will be, just not in the way he'd always thought.

Death. He wants it, wants the peace and tranquility it will bring. He'll be part of the Force, retaining his consciousness to watch over Anakin's twins, and yes, his wayward brother. When Anakin dies – for it will happen someday – he'll be there too. This is it: his final stand, and Obi-Wan promises that he will do everything in his power to make it worth it.

_Be ready, Anakin, because I'm coming for you, and this time, I have a plan, one you'll never figure out before it's too late. Subtlety was never your specialty. It was mine. If I know you, you'll walk right into my trap, and you'll never know the Light – Luke – is coming until it's already arrived._

**w**

Years later, right after his brother has joined him in the Force, Obi-Wan tells him the truth behind his death. For a moment, Anakin looks at him thoughtfully before laughing. "I should have _known_ you weren't bluffing when you said you'd become even more powerful in death."

Obi-Wan gives him a hurt look, which is only partially real. "Since when do I bluff?"

"You don't," Anakin concedes, still grinning, "But that's the point. I'd forgotten."

"Don't dwell on it," Obi-Wan waves a hand at him, "You're happy with the results. And before you ask, you're forgiven for everything."

"Yes," Anakin agrees, moving closer, "I am, and you don't get to forgive me that easily."

"Sure, I do," retorts Obi-Wan, smirking slightly, "I can forgive you for whatever I want, because I love you." He lets Anakin feel it through the Force.

"Well, I love you too," Anakin replies, adding after a moment, "Brother." And Obi-Wan is finally at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this maybe consider reviewing or leaving kudos...? :)


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